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a doc(you) ment on lie(fe) / ab(use) and me as  I exist in the great /er/ scheme of it all....           tales of intertwinement and confinement in personal space misused.... 

An experimental nonlinear performance.

The place: A space inhabited by various people over time.

Each person's (sub)versive actions expose the tragedies which bounce [trapped] off the walls of the box they find themselves in - and remain to resonate in the lives of subsequent dwellers. 

How do individual trials and tribulations echo in the unifying experience of the collective? Do our experiences pale in the face of humanity?

The time bomb of life explodes. At any moment.  And a bomb has a destiny, the relationship of life between the explosion and the implosion. Something in the midst of, between these forces - leaves us with a dull, uneasy craving for the next collective tragedy.

{in}flux is devised as an international collaboration between drama lecturer Janine Lewis and writer John Goddard (England). This will be the third product of the alliance, following previous successful projects : Inside (looking in) -2004 and Atalanta - 2007.

Verbal exchange takes the form of abstract prose as the characters grapple to make sense of their own realities. Image projections, physical theatre and sound painting become extensions of the performer.

A physical, multimedia exploration with strong surreal undertones.



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"...what is 'ours' may also be 'theirs', and visa versa: where difference in 'reconciliation' co-exists uneasily... one's place is always already another's place and the issue of possession is never complete, never entirely settled. the conventional colonial distinctions between self and other, here and there, mine and yours, are now by no means determinable... so one can never be completely in possession of place: one is always (dis)possessed, in the sense that neither possession nor dispossession is a fully realisable category."

Gelder and Jacobs, 1998 Uncanny Australia: Sacredness and Identity in a Postcolonial Nation.


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1. a whirling mass of water, esp. one in which a force of suction operates, as a whirlpool.
2. a whirling mass of air, esp. one in the form of a visible column or spiral, as a tornado.
3. a whirling mass of fire, flame, etc.
4. a state of affairs likened to a whirlpool for violent activity, irresistible force, etc.
5. something regarded as drawing into its powerful current everything that surrounds it: the vortex of war.
6. (in Cartesian philosophy) a rapid rotatory movement of cosmic matter about a center, regarded as accounting for the origin or phenomena of bodies or systems of bodies in space.
[Origin: 1645-55; < L, var. of vertex vertex]

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)


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'the vortex is .... well.... vortexing, and you'll be swirling down that bowl like everybody else in a clockwise or anti-clockwise direction, depending on whether you're in the northern or the southern hemisphere...' (from Atalanta 07)

it is fascinating how one gets sucked up into things so quickly. before you realise it you have been swept up and carried away. taken with the flow. but what if that flow is not the one you should be taking. how once you are in it do you get out. should you. could you. why? but what if you decide to take control. of the flow. own it. step out of the one you were in. review. reflect. then allow yourself to get swept up in a new direction. but what then? consciously choosing to break the mould, free yourself. be yourself. by projecting what you want to be, then going with the flow. you need to have reached rock bottom to the end of you. to become you. the real you. but sometimes it is thrust upon us. and when you get your head above water (again) you discover that the journey to your destiny continues regardless. sometimes we just need a breather. to live. now 

then and now

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as much as i think i have finished with the thread that runs through my performances i don't think it has quite finished with me yet.

pondering trans_end with eugenie (stellenbosh, july 07) and the elements of tan_cesters - envisioning future selves informing how to act today; co-creating paradox; armageddon; polarizing...

this lingers: once a person has lived through, survived an 'armageddon' in their lives, are they not living the trans_end existence of here and now. being truly in the moment. that middle point between the two polarities. orphaned. immediately images of orphans spring to mind.  made so not by their own choosing. but they find themselves there, now. and they cope.

since: recent conversations with various people in various contexts (not catastrophes i went out of my way to look for...mind) have offered signs - as when asking a rape councillor what you say to them (victims); 'get over it. cope' is the message. talking with victims of violent crime (mugged at gunpoint/ shot for their worldly possessions) - 'need to move on. cope.' ..........

how? why?

no answers provided.


in our country none of us can say we have never experienced violence first hand. or been directly affected by it through crime. for some this has been an armagedon moment, leaving them stranded, orphaned amongst so many. but we cope...  there is a very dark place that is visited. where we find ourselves. but some look to the light. get up and carry on. live now. for every moment. or in fear? per route?

it is the 'being thrust' into something or the place we find ourselves in that has made all the difference. this is what underlies my trans_end exploration. to (trans)form (albeit involuntarily) and move on. cope.

the novel by alessandro baricco 'without blood' also haunts me. although having read this for the first time over 18 months ago - some things still niggled at my brain. i was never quite sure why the story resonated. never could put my finger on it. and then after the trans_end ponderings i read the book again. and finally understood what it was trying to say to me. this is the new story. the next part in the performances i need to do.

presently i am also swept up by political issues: righting the wrong, saying your say; saying it as it is! and by space: all space, performance, personal, topographical... and these will also aid me in telling the next episode in the thread that compels me to perform: (dis)possessed.

me in a nutshell

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